Have you ever dislocated your kneecap? Well I have some advice for you. Don't. It's pain, humiliation, and inconvenience beyond adequate description. Pain because, well, that's actually pretty obvious. Humiliation, because afterwards you tumble backwards down 20 cement steps in front of a car full of your neighbors. And it's not like you have a cool story to tell about how you dislocated the stupid thing, because let's be honest, it's a kneecap. It's not a cool joint like a shoulder or a hip. You know, something that would make for a truly awesome (or at least truly gruesome) war story. And it's the epitome of inconvenience because you walk like a duck for the next six weeks, you can't sit down or stand up without an army of helpers, and you have to slide down the stairs on your bum. In slacks. At work.
So if anyone is considering doing something stupid (like squatting down to pick up a garage door opener) in a very unsafe place (the top of an apartment building staircase) which could result in your kneecap sliding painfully to the side (spraining your MCL and making some very nasty popping noises in the process), I would recommend you rethink it before you're huddled at the bottom of that same apartment building staircase surrounded by concerned bystanders (who are trying valiantly not to laugh at your complete lack of grace). Just a thought.
Because I don't happen to carry my camera around with me...and I was rather traumatized at the moment...and my phone doesn't have a camera (which should be an offense punishable by law, by the way--shame on you, Blackberry), I didn't get any pictures of the grotesque, swollen, pulsing (okay, not pulsing), purple, blue, yellow, and green mass of flesh that used to be a very serviceable knee. And pretty sure you wouldn't want to see it anyway. BUT, I think every post should have at least one picture. So I've decided to post something completely and totally unrelated! Behold, the extent of my Christmas decorating prowess. Below is my living room...my first attempt at waxing festive. Well, it would have been my attempt--it actually was my sisters' and my cousin's attempt. I told them where to put stuff and they did it for me while I lounged on the couch with an ice pack on said knee. I have the best family EVER.
Yes, I KNOW my tree is the only thing in the room remotely related to Christmas. One step at a time.
5 comments:
oh I'm so sorry about your knee! that must be awful. But on the up side your house is so dang cute!
LOVE your place! I should probably come see it. And just FYI, the one perk to getting incredibly hurt is the sympathy food you get from friends, i.e. cookies, ice cream, anything unhealthy. But, this requires your friends actually knowing about your injury. So, I blame you that I wasn't able to provide you with goodies. Miss you!
I'm sorry to hear about your knee. I never have had to worry about mine. But my little brother tor his acl and has to get surgery on it this month. Hang in their
Lauren I am so sorry that that happened. I really do feel bad,BUT you know me I am laughing. And I am blaming this on you. You should not have written it so funny. I can just see you slidding down stairs on your bum. I do love you though.
Hey beautiful! We were at home for Christmas and I saw your mom in relief society and she made me think of you! Sorry about your knee! The way you worded and described the whole event made me laugh though! I can't imagine having to slide down the stairs on your bum! At least you'll have a funny story to tell for years=) Your apartment is cute! I wish I could have laid on the couch and just directed my husband on where to put things=) So, I'm jealous=) Hope everything else is going well.
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